You are always on my mind

Bambi

Skin: Glam Affair Eles America 02  @ Shiny Shabby

Eyes: IKON Odyssey Eyes - Apex NEW @ TMD

Hair: Tableau Vivant Morgana hair @ Shiny Shabby

Stone

Skin: TheSkinShops Dash

Eyes: IKON Romise Eyes - Hazel

Hair: Truth Hair Tom

And we're wearing: Plowwies Noodle Master jammies female/male

Bedroom: Bazar Traveler Bedroom

House: Trompe Loeil Beach Bungalow Teal and Yellow v3

I am to provide the public with beneficial shocks. Alfred Hitchcock

So what do we have here:

Skin: Pink Fule Renee <Peach> - Pure

Hair: ARGRACE HIKARI

Body: Slink Physique Mesh Body

Water drops: Izzie's - Body Waterdrops with Physique Mesh Body appliers

Tub: LAQ Decor Clawfoot Bathtub & Shower

Pose: Homemade *smiles*

And... The Hitchcock Silhouette

This one is also posted on my fashion blog only without what follows. I loved working on this picture. It gave me the most amazing satisfaction to just realise that is came out like I saw it in my head, and this is what it's all about.. Enjoy the imagination. Getting to know it and yourself and not stopping this fun for something that is not. Use this crazy grid to love, laugh and enjoy it. Enjoy you addiction.. it's it's not fun, it really doesn't worth it.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting

This past month have been hard. I lost a friend to cancer, a war going on in my country, family problems and more. Trying to use SL as my escape wasn't working very well... 

Relationship ended in a bang, friendship ended with a silent boom, as I'm not sure it was friendship in the first place and a few more things that got me to yell STOP.

One of my precious memories in SL used to tell me about sl: "sex, drama and lag that is all there is to it and nothing more" I see the people that treat it that way and I envy them at times. If I was like them, maybe escaping to sl would have worked better for me.

Well here are my conclusions from this piece of sl experience I was having... 

SL is not a democracy. Treat it that way and you'll be disappointed. It is a dictatorship runs by a company that say: "Kill each other for all I care. Oh? You want rules? *sighs* hold on... LEGAL DEPARTMENT!!! THEY WANT RULES...... Here *rolls eyes* some TOS for ya.. Happy now? good, now give me your money and go play with the other children".

In that sense we work in sl. Each on his/her own to walk this grid under their own compass of right and wrong. I think it's a universal thing right and wrong, so when someone do something that is wrong he/she will suffer the consequences. Well at least I hope..

Friends list is not a democracy. If I added/was added by someone it was for a reason. If I deleted/was deleted by someone, again, it was for a reason. I'm learning the hard way to choose my friends, as we all do. I am lucky to have amazing people in my life (both of them) and was unlucky to have some horrible people in my life (both of them) as well. But at the end of the day, it's my choice to push someone that was doing me wrong out.

A game for which you must participate even when not in the mood, not able to, simply want to do something else, but on a schedule to be on, is no longer a game. 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting: 

There are so many quotes of smart (and not so smart) people about friendship and love. But come on? Are they really apply in sl? Isn't it obvious? Friends WILL hurt you and love in sl is NOT the love of your life. BUT.. those friends that will hurt you... Them being friends, means they will say sorry and will try to fix it. 

That love, might not be the love of your life, but if someone care for you and want to spend time with you. Isn't that fun?

Dream in sl. play in sl, get hurt in sl. If those that hurt you will try to fix the problem, keep them.. They are the ones that worth it.

Yeah so what? So I used a quote from the book of Proverbs... I'm quotes kinda gal...

Priorities

A very good friend of mine is drawing her very last breaths after fighting cancer for years in horrible pain and after watching how her twin sister had to give in to the very same silent killer.

Innocent men, women and children are losing their lives in a bloody war that was forced on my country. 54, and counting soldiers, most of them 18-20 years old. Who went to the army not by choice, gave their lives to stop killing of innocents in the future.

I have to sit at home hoping that the technological system, that was made to protect me as a citizen, will keep that 100% success. Though, I know it’s supposed to be 85%. Thinking how, actually, have a minute and a half to run away while my best friend, his wife and their 3 years old child have only 15 seconds to run.

Why am I saying all this? Because it’s teaching me about how to look at the priorities in my live. I realised that I allowed too many people to make my sl the exact opposite of what it was meant to be. I can't control the rl. I can't make it any different, but as for sl... I’m taking my sl back.

The Devil Was Homesick

The devil was homesick. She was fighting the will to run back there. She was pacing back and forth in her house, missing how the wet grass felt on her bare feet. Hugged her knees on the sofa missing the warm safe hug from her love back home. She was looking out the window. Trying to imagine the bird's song she was longing for. Suddenly, a ray of sunshine caressed her face from the window. She gasps and looked up hoping to see the face of her love smiling at her, and to be in the garden that was her home. But, neither a smile nor a garden was there.

The devil was homesick, she ran out of the house trying to keep herself from collapsing to the ground. She looked at that crowded street. No room for a flower, a butterfly or a bird. She looked up at the sky. She was looking for that ray of sunshine. For that kind loving touch she missed so dearly. But the sky were nowhere to be found in the big city.

The devil was homesick. She decided to take a walk to ease her mind. Her feet just started walking. She didn’t know where she was going or for how long. She just stared at the ground deep in her thoughts, allowing the wind direction to lead her path. She was walking in the streets of the big city. People cleared the way for her. She was the devil after all. She felt a light breeze and lifted her head fearing she’s about to hit something. It was the path to the garden – she was home.

The devil was home sick. She was looking at it from afar, filled her lungs with the clear air. The smell of wet grass and wood made her sigh without even noticing. She release a quiet laugh and looked around her. She was alone. She bit her lip in a cheeky mood. She wasn’t in that mood in a long while.  The devil took her first step on the bridge that is leading to her home.

The devil was homesick and nothing could stop her now. She decided to visit the place of her passion. The place that once was her shelter. She took her first step and heard a slight noise behind her. She startled and looked over her shoulder. The ray of sunshine appeared again dancing gently on her shoulder her upper back sliding up to her neck and cheek. She closed her eyes and smiled “I missed you so much”. The words left her mouth and she regretted them immediately. She knew it was wrong to lie like that.

The devil was homesick but now it was too late. The ray of sunshine was flaming hot on her skin. She tried to hid her face and not look at the strong light “I’m sorry”, she screamed, but the rage wasn’t seem to fade. The ray of sunshine was now shouting with a tongue of fire at her. “Please love. A few minutes and I’ll leave”. He ray of sunshine wouldn’t let go. She fell to the ground, still not daring look at him. She was sobbing. She missed him and if that what it takes to be home with him, she was willing to take it. “I’m sorry” were the last words she whispered before giving up.

The devil was homesick. She felt the warmth of the tears running down her cheeks and the cool of the ground beneath her knees. The song of a bird nearby reached her ears. She notices the ray of sunshine was no longer angry. She looked up and it was near a tree a cross the bridge in the garden that was her home. The devil walked carefully, looking at her beloved silver ray of sunshine. He was calm now and quiet. The tears got bigger. All she wanted was his warmth and kindness. “I’m sorry” she gasps as she cried. The ray of sunshine was now wrapping her, holding her close keeping her warm.

The devil was home.

Bad Company

On my last rant I wrote about the connection that SL has with RL. How it’s not two separated things. That SL is not something you can leave behind and forget the people inside while you’re at your RL job, family dinner etc. I also said that I don’t see much judgement among my SL friends. Those who do get judgement are those that hurt others. This rant is going to be all about them.

In my short SL I came across many types of people and heard about a lot of different types I must say I’m probably lucky I haven’t met so far. Here are three types of people that in my views deserves nothing but our judgement. Type number one: Griefers. Like any society upon this blue planet, SL has its criminals. This is how I see griefers, as nothing more then criminals. Some of them are more dangerous than others, but criminals none the less. This rant is more about people I met along this ride who hurt people for the sake of what we call DRAMA. Yes, the D word.

Type number two: They say they hate drama, but they love it. They say that the people around them they hate, are those who cause THE drama and it’s never them. They think that SL is a game of the drama, by the drama and for the drama (forgive my Lincoln, I had to). My opinion about drama? It happens. Do I like it? I don’t care for it. Do I look for it? It’s everywhere just like in the real world.

For example from my own SL I’ll take the people I was trying to find a polite reason, some might call it excuse, not to work for them. A club that was trashing other clubs openly, a club that in its first version used me and my will to help to the max, a club that treated it’s staff in a horrible appalling way. As I was thinking of a good reason that will not hurt their feelings, the owner of the club got the vibe and in return banned me. So far I accept the anger, didn’t like the overreaction, but took it. For some reason banning me wasn’t enough. Friends of mine started telling me about staff of that club coming to them and warning them of me. People coming to the club I work in and trashing my name in the local chat and in that owner’s profile, besides calling me names I will not repeat here, starting to mention as their new best friend, a person I used to care for deeply. Using him with lies and manipulation, plain and simple, in order to hurt my feelings. They (and he) succeeded. It took me a long while to get back on track and focus on the future instead of the past, but I got over it by let it go, while hearing how that staff member that was sent to warn my friends about me was banned herself… and how more and more staff members found themselves banned. It’s a simple story about over-reacting in SL to the point of going on a vendetta crusade. From what I hear, karma is now working its charm.

So this was about people claiming to hate drama yet looking for it and if it’s not there, causing it. The final type for this rant comes in all shapes and forms, in my case, came in the shape of a sick twisted man. A man that thinks, that the game of love and relationships in SL should look like and episode of The Young and the Restless meets porn. Tempting women into a fake fantasy of deep friendship and then declaring love and all mixed in sex, emotion and pity. When the woman tried to reject him politely/Falls for him and starts feeling smothered, the game of guilt starts. If the game of guilt is not helping, the game of shame, threats and manipulation starts and if that doesn’t work that “lovely” man in need to defend himself starts with the spreading of lies, rumours and moves on to the next targets. I say targets because this man loves juggling… Karma is working its charms there too.

So what did we have here? The three types that deserve judgement in Second Life, in my opinion, are:

• Griefers AKA Criminals
• Vendetta people AKA Drama “haters”. At least be honest to yourselves. Come on, look in the mirror and say “I love drama” there… better?
• Those that play on people’s mind and heart as a way of winning in the “game” of Second Life. Their game usually ends with Game Over…

Ouftit:

Skin - LAQ Alva Peach 04 LAQ Main Store

Hair - CaTwA Yuna HairStyle/Dark Reds

Location - House of Fox, Laviere & Tee*fy, The Secret Store, Kirin

This location is still wintry and festive it is beautiful for walks and picture taken. Don't miss it out

RL vs/feat. SL

Someone I used to spent a lot of my time on SL with, used to say that SL for him is nothing but an addition. That he, unlike others, knows to make the separation between the two. That RL and SL are two different things and once you're away from it, it's should be off totally including the people inside it. I used to listen, try to learn and think, as I was new to this world, I know nothing, so shut up, listen and learn. 

Today, months and months after this somebody that I used to know gone out of my life with a nice door slam, I can say that in my opinion, he couldn't be so far from the truth, and the attempt to keep that separation is a recipe for this "hobby" as he calls it, to blow in one's face. 

The avis you see in the picture little collage I made are people I adore, love and care for. I count them as my closest friends ALONG SIDE my RL friends. I'm saying my good mornings and my good nights to them, I laugh, cry and share deep moments with them as much as I do with my own RL family and friends. To say I close my computer and walk away, and they become a fade memory is and insult. It's an insult not only to the very much real love and affection we all feel to each other, but to the whole concept of a platform that is first and for most a social one. I told my friends this many time, I don't search for the avi and stage persona. I care and look at the person that made the persona. I'm looking at the real man or woman that reached out and I reach back.

As for relationships. I'm married in RL like over half the population of SL. I got judged for being in SL and married, saying what I'm saying that there is no separation. For that I say judge lest ye be judged. The human being is a social animal. Our hearts reach out for each other and sometimes a deep emotional connection is being made. You judge others you open yourself to be judged by others. But I must day, within this beautiful odd wonderland that is being called Second Life I don't see a lot of judgement. Only people that are being judged are those that hurt others... But that's.. Oh that's for another rant...

To sum things up, dear chap that I used to know, you, in my opinion, are wrong, and the love I have for those people and so many more is the best present I could get from a "hobby"

It's hard to see the outfits on those pictures, but the hair is more visible so here we go (only the hair styles I'm wearing):

Top left corner: TRUTH HAIR Cyanne reds

Middle top line up: ARGRACE KAORU - Reds

for a post of Tal's blog about those outfits please click here

Middle top line down: CaTwA Lamar V2 HairStyle/Dark Reds

Top Right Corner - ARGRACE HARUKA - Reds

Bottom left corner: Exile 1985 Dark Reds

Middle bottom - D!va Hair Asami (Type A)(Garnet)

Middle bottom up and bottom right corner - ARGRACE SHIORI - Reds